It's been a looonnng time...

I know, I know. It's been over three months since my last post. And honestly, I always want to sit down and gather my thoughts but there is always something else that I need to do. Life hasn't stopped getting busier, so this Sunday morning, when I would normally be at church (my Pastor is on vacation), before I sit down to write my three papers that are due before 9 am tomorrow, I decided to write on my blog.

My Sisterlocks(or whatever they are)....

So a lot and nothing has been happening with my hair. It is growing like crazy, I mean, I haven't measured or anything but I'm close to about 7 inches (or more) at the longest strand. I had a TWA when I started of about 2.5 inches, so it is growing. My hair had, however, grown at a stupid (LOL) rate when I had a relaxer, so I didn't expect anything less now that it is locking.

I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. I do almost nothing with it. 90% of the time its just freestyle with a headband...I think that I have become addicted to headbands to deflect from the massive frizzies I sometimes have. Lately, I have been setting them on perm rods, but that is so time consuming, so that really only happens when I have spare time.

I love the fact that I don't worry about my hair when I wake up in the morning. Getting ready for work and most times getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night, doesn't lend much time for me to be primping my hair. I love that I was able to go to a water park with my baby and enjoy and not worry about water splashing on my hair (I was able to focus all my attention on her hair). I love the "POTENTIAL" it has of looking good...

But I hate my hair sometimes. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if this was the right decision. And while I don't write on my blog, I read a lot of other ones and I almost NEVER see women who have "sisterlocks" contemplate their decision. The ones I do come across are those who have taken down their locks...but I feel like sometimes people are faking the funk. I dunno, maybe its me, but can you like something ALL the time?

People have told me that I look way different with locks than I did with relaxed hair. Most of my family tells me they miss my "beautiful" hair. And to be honest, I did have nice relaxed hair. It was thick and bouncy and almost void of a relaxer, seeing as though I got one every 8-9 weeks and it was a kiddie perm. I wanted my daughter, who has GORGEOUS natural hair to know that her hair is beautiful just the way it is, and the only way I wanted to be able to show her that is by example.

Which leads me to my issues....

Sisterlocks are not no-maintenance....and I have 550+ in my head. Economic circumstances arose and I couldn't afford the $75+ cost to retighten, nor could I afford the 8+ hours it took to get them done. I am a mother of a toddler with a full time job and a full time student in a fast track program, with my own business and most recently Chair of a national organization, I just didn't have the time (or the money). So I had to make the choice to retighten my own hair with (GASP) a nappylock tool.

OK, so a certified consultant that I chop it up with from time to time, tells me that if I maintain my own hair, without taking the class, I don't have sisterlocks. That really bothered me...not because I care whether or not people know I have SISTERLOCKS, cuz truth be told, not many people know what they are anyway...but because this "sister" felt the need to make me "separate" because I choose to maintain my own hair.

Maybe I'm slow, but to me, the whole premise behind being natural is loving who you are freely, not being bound to the relaxer, and being on the road to healthy hair. I have "maintained" my hair for years. I went to the salon every 8 weeks, and that was to Hair Cuttery to get my hair layered and cut (into whatever I was feeling like) by a (GASP again) white woman. I rarely applied heat to my head...I would wash, wrap, airdry (with a scarf), take my hair down the next day and go. So I never spent time in a beauty shop, nor did I wear weaves. So hearingg this statement made me go "Seriously, are you serious?"

Then I thought about the court case involving Sisterlocks and Nappylocks and I read more on it, and found myself agreeing with the courts and Nappylocks. I get the whole thing about Sisterlocks being a brand, etc...but if you really cared about wanting all "sisters" to enjoy this new "lifestyle" of freedom, wouldn't you make it affordable?

I'm getting my teaching certification and have a goal of chartering a school for African American kids that focus on reading excellence and interdisciplinary curriculums. I was fortunate to have a great education and I want ALL my babies (especially in urban) areas to have the same opportunities I did...now, saying that, what would I look like charging a crazy tuition to my school when that's my premise? Just doesn't add up right?

These are my opinions, so pple, please don't get all uptight, but some of these "sisterlocked" sisters are perpetuatingg the same attitude they try to claim Europeans placed on blacks...the "if you're not like me authentically, then you're steps below me". Really? so beacause I use a nappylock tool on my "sisterlocks", I don't have them? OK, I don't. I am who I am REGARDLESS of what is on the top of my head, I don't need a label to define who I am.

I'm a natural headed sista who decided to use a method that allowed for me to have small dreads.

Which leads me to this whole "parting" etc. So, since I have been a DIYer (for the past 2.5 retightenings, I've noticed some things...the front of my hair does not have straight lines. I don't have a center part, and about 80% of the parts in the front of my hair are on a slant. Now, I'm meticulous. I mean, the way I look at it, I paid money for an install and subsequent retightenings, I may as well keep up my investment. It literally, takes me about a week to do my hair. I take my time and I use a mirror for the front of my hair, so I'm sure about these crooked, slanted parts. Now, sure, I was pissed in the beginning, but then I'm like, well, if a "parting" grid and all that mess defined my hair, then I'm falling in the same trap as some of these other ladies. Sure, it may become an issue in the future when my hair matures and I may want to style it a certain way, but right now its not. It is noticeable when I want to go and flat twist the front of my hair and there are no parts that are straight back, but I did that once in 7 months, so...whatever.

That's why I love Nacole's youtube channel so much (nriccaboni). She is honest. She is funny and she's real.

This was an extra long post, maybe I should blog more often.

But in regards to my hair....Its coming along. the bottom two rows of my hair are sealed...that was interesting seeing as though those are the ones that get wet the most (almost every day in the shower). Going toward the back middle, I have a ton of slippage. It seems the texture there is a big more of a loose wave, and I'm wondering if its from the new sleep position I have now that the little one is back in bed with me (sleeping on my back). My sides and top middle are all coming along as well, most have buds and others have condensed and matted at the end but not formed that "cylinder". And the front is still in the pattern. Some of the extra tiny ones (that should be combined, since my parts are off anyway) always require repair after washing, but its cool.

I was frustrated last week and washed my hair without braiding and banding. I stopped using the SL shampoo a minute ago...I HATED the way it left my hair looking and feeling and the way my scalp was sooooo flaky. Since then, I've only used the Suave clarifying shampoo and nothing else...no EO or mixtures or any other moisturizers and honestly, I think its time...I've been reading that the SL moisture treatment is good, but others have recommended other things too.

All in all, I'm satisfied. I see the potential of my hair and I'm being patient. I told my aunt in early June, I'll give it one more year. So, June 2011 will determine how I feel and what I will do. I will have finished school and embarking into new chapters in my life that involve me reaching my goals. If I'm still feeling this way a year from now, I'll just cut them off and wear my TWA....